1. If you get a plastic surgery, your height inevitably increases or decreases, atleast by a few inches.
  2. It is completely possible for a 14 year-old to survive a pointblank shot to the forehead.
  3. Your financial status is decided by the car you drive (the not-so-well-off drive Ambassadors). If you are not well-off, you stay in the outhouse of a bungalow.
  4. The outhouse of any bungalow is almost always the size of a mansion.
  5. It is very common for a person suffering from a serious mental illness since birth to somehow become alright and run the family business single handedly.
  6. The daughter-in-law is either a goody-two-shoes or a vicious villain. There is no middle ground.
  7. The same applies to mothers-in-law.
  8. It is very much acceptable for people to keep crying for days together.
  9. Rani of Jhansi had a look-alike.
  10. All Indian kings lived in spectacular palaces and all Britishers were vile and cunning and had golden teeth.
  11. Reality shows are not made up at all.
  12. Televised swayamvars/swayamvadhus are the “in things”.
  13. It is essential for reporters to add “Exclusively brought to you by XYZ news channel” every 2 minutes, while in the middle of a report (Its not like there are other important things to report anyway, so some bragging is worthwhile. Genius.).
  14. It is also essesntial to play movie songs while reporting news.
  15. Command over the language is not a necessary quality for a reporter.
  16. IPL > anything else.

I find these things extremely amusing and annoying at the same time. Britishers were cunning yes, but depicting that with golden teeth? Some of these TV shows have twisted Indian history and mythologies. The notion of short and sweet does not seem to exist in Indian TV. A good example is the show on Shirdi Sai Baba. It went from being good to hopelessly convoluted storyline. The show on Krishna ended after Krishna grew up because the popularity of the show was only because of the kid that played the baby Krishna. Soap operas are by far the silliest shows made. Bad dialogues, bad acting, no story (or rather, the same story in every show) and the endless number of villains – its too much to handle. Swayamvars and swayamvadhus make a mockery of the most celebrated and respected aspect of our culture. News channels are a joke. BBC World gives more details about Indian news than any of these channels. Some of these points are just nit-pickings, but combine them all together and we get the largest number of news channels making fools of themselves. Sigh.

It wasn’t always like this. The Akbar-Birbal series, in which Anang Desai played Bribal, was excellent. Sarabhai vs Sarabhai was also excellent, and I’ve no idea why they haven’t renewed it for a second season after saying the would. There were a few other good shows like Siddhant and Special Squad that ended after a few episodes. Some of the old TV shows were very good, from what I hear from my parents. News channels were pretty good until a few years ago.

I sincerely hope they improve. At least the news channels. At the moment though, they’re all part of one big mess.
P.S: I’m sure I’ve missed out many points here. Feel free to post as comments the “things you’ve learnt from TV”.